Safe & Intimate Love Making: Understanding Your Partner And Building Trust

The key to a healthy relationship is building trust and understanding with your partner. Spending time with your partner and understanding their needs is as important as being with them physically. It’s a basic human emotion to feel safe with our better halves. Of course, it is easier said than done, but to contemplate an intimate and fulfilled love life, it is but essential. In fact, safe sex is the cornerstone of every great intimate relationship and is essential to #saveintimacy.

Being intimate is so much more than just the physical part of the relationship, in fact, there is a direct correlation between feeling safe and enjoying a satisfying love life. Being intimate is about opening up, sharing secrets, being vulnerable without fearing judgement, and enjoying the shared safe space. It’s no surprise that adventure and excitement are the building blocks to a long-lasting and intimate relationship but not at the cost of trustworthiness, integrity, reliability, and safety.

There are no two ways that physical intimacy is a key factor that sustains and nourishes a relationship. While there are no strict Do’s and Don’ts, here are a few tips that should come in handy for safe and more intimate lovemaking:

  1. Understanding Your Partner's Needs
    Often times couples facing intimacy problems talk about unfulfilled desires. This stems from a very basic misunderstanding of each other’s needs and mismanagement of expectation. The solution to this is as basic as the core problem. Be open to each other about needs and desires.

    There might be instances where your partner might not be comfortable about a particular position or a sexual act. Instead of forcing them or ignoring the denial, talk about it, understand the hesitance and work towards solving it. Similarly, if you don’t want to perform certain sexual acts, be vocal about it with your partner without being disrespectful. Sometimes the cues might be very subtle, and that is where a non-confrontational environment helps people open up, and in turn, builds a deeper emotional bond. 
    Take time to understand what your partner’s expectations are, what do they really want and invest in your relationship emotionally. A keen study of their mood, while difficult can be very important in figuring out their behavior. But with enough practice, you can tell you whether they are tired, emotionally drained or need some alone time.

  2. Create A Safe Space
    As mentioned already, the key to building trust and intimacy is being able to feel safe, without fear of judgement. Promoting such a safe space obviously requires getting the basics right, whether it is practicing safe sex using contraceptives viz. condoms, or introducing an ample amount of foreplay.

    Your partner should feel that you really care about their physical as well as mental wellbeing. The end goal of this space is being able to talk about things which would otherwise remain hidden. You can encourage this exchange by sharing your stories and providing your non-judgemental perspective on their stories.

  3. Appreciate Your Partner
    We human beings are a complicated lot. We need validation as much as we need assessment and criticism. If your partner is conscious about their body or their looks, make them feel at home. Remind them how much you love them and how much you appreciate spending every waking hour in their presence. This not only helps form a compassionate and intimate bond but also helps in their individual growth.

  4. Spend Time Making Your Partner Feel Comfortable
    Never be in a hurry, make sure your partner is feeling comfortable. Engage with your partner in rewarding foreplay sessions to ensure both of you are sufficiently aroused for longer-lasting and intimate lovemaking. You can start off by stroking and teasing each other, providing little visual treats while undressing, playing with each other’s clothing, etc. The main aim is to breed a certain degree of freedom and comfort before getting physically intimate.
  5. Respect Each Other’s Personal Space
    Maintaining and respecting boundaries are the cornerstone of any successful relationships. Establish a set of do’s and don’ts, identify no go zones and discuss sexual intimacy, which otherwise might lead to invasion of personal space. Now, there might be scenarios where personal spaces are intruded upon, and boundaries are crossed, but it doesn’t mean, we have to do away maintaining personal space. This is not a fail-safe, which you start questioning after every small debate or disagreement.

    There are no fail-safes in a relationship, these are just a few things you can include and practice in your life for better, fulfilled and intimate relationship.