Is It Ok If I Don’t Like Masturbating?

Jul 15, 2021
minutes
reading
Is It Ok If I Don’t Like Masturbating?

Many sex-positive feminists believe that masturbation is the bee all and end all of sex liberation for women. If you identify as a woman, your sexual pleasure can feel like a lose-lose situation. The previous message was: if you masturbate, you’re dirty and depraved. Now, if you don’t masturbate, there’s also something wrong with you.

But please remember this: masturbation is not everyone’s cup of tea. There are two sex rules that apply to everyone, that is, practising consensual and safe sex. Beyond that, you can pick and choose from the sex menu.

However you identify, if you have chosen not to masturbate then no-one should shame or pressure you into changing your mind. Here are just a few reasons it’s ok if you don’t enjoy touching yourself:

There’s no pleasure in it: Presuming that everyone enjoys masturbation is just another way to put people in boxes - one that overlooks asexual folk by the way. It’s also short-sighted to think that if someone doesn’t enjoy pleasuring themselves then they’re frigid and incapable of having great sex. Less judgement please. 

You’re bored of it: Too much of a good thing can have its drawbacks. Masturbating too much can leave you tired, or lead to less enthusiasm about sex with your partner, or less of a sexual connection with them.

You just prefer sex with someone else: If an emotional connection during sex is high on your list of priorities, then it makes sense that self-pleasure just won’t deliver on its many benefits. You may want to explore mutual masturbation with your partner - or just stick to combined sexual pleasure! You choose.

Our bottom line? True sexual liberation comes from choosing what you want (what you really, really want) regardless of what the data says or what works for your friends. 

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